S2 Some past bruising.....
Over the last 24 hours because I thought my old bf was trying to contact me (turns out he wasnt) It brought a bunch of feelings of anger and hurt to the surface......I was really much more hurt than i previously realized if I am still having such strong feelings after a year and a half....
I realized I am still hanging on to wanting a different outcome than what happened. I ended our relationship but STILL wish that he would call me (which hedid call to apologize last year-) and say he wanted to do things differently only so that I could remove the pain..
So the pain of a heart that is hurt ( I wouldnt say broken) I am still carrying....This is blocking new growth in this area.... I have kept telling myself that is doesnt bother me, its over....But this morning I reviewed some of the things that happened and they are still painful...
I want to stop wishing for a different outcome and move on to what I really need.. Its funny because just the other day I could feel myself really moving forward and then this thing happened and it brought it all back....
I know to focus on what I want instead of the past and what I dont want... Its hard when you still fill love for the person...
I thank you for letting me vent this situation..... Any tips would be welcome
I realized I am still hanging on to wanting a different outcome than what happened. I ended our relationship but STILL wish that he would call me (which hedid call to apologize last year-) and say he wanted to do things differently only so that I could remove the pain..
So the pain of a heart that is hurt ( I wouldnt say broken) I am still carrying....This is blocking new growth in this area.... I have kept telling myself that is doesnt bother me, its over....But this morning I reviewed some of the things that happened and they are still painful...
I want to stop wishing for a different outcome and move on to what I really need.. Its funny because just the other day I could feel myself really moving forward and then this thing happened and it brought it all back....
I know to focus on what I want instead of the past and what I dont want... Its hard when you still fill love for the person...
I thank you for letting me vent this situation..... Any tips would be welcome
Comment
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Comment by createfate on November 12, 2009 at 6:51pm - Yes, yes and YES!!! THanks for the support and idea... All three very good points and ideas...All three true!!! THANKS!!!! Cocreators rock!!!
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Comment by Claire Gillen on November 12, 2009 at 1:54pm -
Hi there, looking back on my life there are so many people I have loved and thought I couldn't live without. Now I feel differently. I now feel that it starts with me. If I love myself first, and love myself deeply then all the relationships I have (including the intimate 'love of my life' one) will mirror that.
Take care of you first, love you first, and everything else, I believe, will fall into place.
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Comment by Chris on November 12, 2009 at 1:39pm -
When we focus on something we want so strongly that is not quite yet a belief of ours the Universe will give us extreme contrast based on our former beliefs just to make sure we know where we are going. I see it as a game now. These contrasts are kinda silly and fun and can show you how far you have come in your thoughts and desires. At one point your thoughts were based purely on what now is an extreme contrast so smile in knowing that this is growth, reflection and that you are invincible in it all.
The Universe provides us with all the tools we need to move into new awareness and new understanding. All we have to do is use a little of our courage (and if we need more courage we really can just ask for that too)
Peace, light and love in your journey. :-)
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Comment by Shiva on November 12, 2009 at 12:31pm - Just let it out.If you feel angry, hurt, sad,,feel it. Maybe it just needed to come out, so now you can fill it up with something else.
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